Each month in Off the Clock, our job seeker community section, we host a Share & Win! contest ripe with fabulous prizes and hilarious (and sometimes very embarrassing) stories. In June, we asked you to share your worst job interview stories. When we received your tales of opportunity flushed down the toilet (sometimes literally), we laughed, we cried, we cringed. We also had to take a cold shower and rent a priest afterward.

Job interviews can unfortunately be tough, grueling and unforgiving. And those are the positive ones. Luckily, they can sometimes be fun, uplifting experiences that you can one day look back on as highlights of your working life. But enough with all the positive positivity…

Our worst job interview accolades go to Melissa D. of Baltimore, MD. We’re pretty sure that the next time she goes dress shopping before a big interview, she’ll be all the wiser:

Last July, I had an interview for a promotion and decided to treat myself to a new dress. I found it at local “designer discount” store. The label was removed but it was a bargain, and it really was adorable: a black short-sleeved chemise with white polka dots. I had no idea what the fabric was, but the price was right and I decided to go for it. The day of my interview, the combination of my frock’s mystery fabric and the humidity of summertime in Baltimore made me sweat. My underarms felt wet, but I didn’t think any of the three people on the interview panel could tell; that is, until I got back to my office and my friend Patty exclaimed, “Oh my Gosh!” and dragged me into the bathroom. In the mirror, I saw in horror what my interviewers must have seen: My perspiration had reacted with something in the fabric and turned the armpits of my dress BRIGHT PURPLE! I wanted to die (or dye!). Patty didn’t even try to convince me that it wasn’t that bad, because it was. I didn’t get the promotion, and to this day, Patty calls me “Pits” when she wants to get a rise out of me. –Melissa D.

Melissa will go home with a $500 American Express gift card to buy a new work wardrobe and a gallon of bleach. “Thank you so much for turning my worst interview catastrophe into something I can now be proud of!” she told SnagAJob.com.

Good luck, Pits!

• Enter our new Share & Win! contest: Think you’ve got the quirkiest co-worker? Tell us about it and win a $300 American Express gift card.
• Also: Find job interview tips and search for retail jobs

Thanks to everyone who submitted their stories of interviews gone wrong for our last Share and Win! contest. From a flat-out rude interviewer who made one applicant cry to a job seeker who lost his lunch on a hiring manager’s lap, we had a great time reading each and every entry. But we do hope your future job interviews will be much less grueling. Now that the deadline has passed, it’s time to introduce a brand spanking new contest, so get your creative juices flowing: We want to hear about your quirkiest co-worker.

Does the guy in the stock room look like a body builder but collects unicorn figurines in his spare time? Does the girl who works the drive-thru build small houses out of condiment packets on her lunch break? Or maybe your retail manager has an imaginary friend named Phil who advises her on selling strategy. Send in your stories of the most peculiar person you’ve ever worked with, and you could win a $300 gift card to take them out to dinner and celebrate their uniqueness, or even buy them a vintage glass unicorn.

Here’s an example of what we’re looking for:

While working for a consumer electronics store, I had a co-worker, Jay, who prided himself on being EXTREME! He lived loud, dressed louder (think tight Hawaiian shirts) and scared away every woman within 30 yards of his awful Burt Reynolds’ mustache. One time he invited me out to lunch – and he wanted to drive. Jay’s ride was a lipstick red IROC-Z with a vanity license plate that read, “AWSOMMM.” But that wasn’t enough; Jay also had a matching mini rubber license plate keychain with the same inscription. After I triple-checked that my seatbelt was secure, Jay revved the engine and blasted some German techno music that would even make David Hasselhoff cringe. I thought once we hit 88 mph, we’d leap into the future, but instead we were just in a Burger King parking lot.

These people may be unusual, but they sure do make the workplace an interesting place to be. You can submit your story between now and 11:59 p.m. on July 31 for your chance to win. And while you’re at it, send funny ecards to those eccentric employees to let them know how much you appreciate everything they do.

The deadline is fast approaching, so make sure to submit bad interview stories before it’s too late. The bell will toll at midnight on June 30, and your chance to win a $500 gift card toward a brand new wardrobe will be over. So enter now, and tell us your tales of interviews gone awry. Below is an example of a story that tickled our fancy, so check it out if you need some motivation.

After spending several years in retail work, I had decided it was time to move on and find a job with more responsibility. My first interview was for a position as an office admin for a well-to-do online corporation. When I got there, the receptionist told me that the hiring manager was ready to see me, so I shook my nerves away and entered a corner office with a sweet view. “Paul?” I heard the woman say, and suddenly I realized that it was my ex from high school. I had ended the relationship senior year because I wanted to be a “free man” and “explore other options” in college. She had obviously done pretty well for herself without me—too bad that didn’t make her any less bitter. “So those ‘other options’ must not have worked out for you,” she said, half jokingly, a big diamond ring gleaming on her left hand. Not only did I not get the job, but I was totally embarrassed by being unmarried and unemployed in front of my ex. I guess my wish to be a free man worked out a little too well! Oh well…

Wow, that’s awkward. Do you think your story can top it? The only way to find out is to send it in and let us decide. But hurry up, you don’t have much time. And make sure to keep your stories G-rated—in other words, leave out anything you wouldn’t tell your grandma.

• After you’ve submitted your gruesome tale, look over our interview tips and job advice so you’ll be prepared for anything the next time an employer is grilling you.

Nothing is funnier than being unhappy in your job and struggling to support a family on a low salary, right? Well, apparently not if you’ve seen the trailer for the upcoming movie “The Promotion,” starring John C. Reilly and Sean William Scott (aka Stiffler from “American Pie”). In this film, two average Joes fight for one coveted position: Manager of a brand spankin’ new supermarket.

Donaldson’s grocery store may not be the most glamorous place to work, but we here at SnagAJob.com commend these characters’ determination to climb that job ladder to the top. However, we don’t suggest spraying mace in a customer’s eyes or handing out awards to employees for “cutting the cheese.” While it’s hilarious on screen, that may get you fired rather than promoted in real life.

So climb on, and maybe one day you’ll be in the position to battle for a similar promotion. And if you’ve already made the leap from wearing a name tag on your shirt to hanging a name plate on your office door, we want to hear about it. Inspire others by clicking the “Add a Comment” button below and share your promotion story.

• Search for summer jobs and part-time jobs now.

Thanks to everyone who sent in their funny on-the-job stories for our first Share and Win! Contest. From coworkers’ collapsing desks to spilling bleu cheese all over an old man’s head, we here at SnagAJob.com had a blast reading them all.

After poring over close to 400 entries, we have picked a winner. Congratulations to Diana Arcia from Georgia, whose story of an insurance call turned midday nap was everything but a snooze. Diana will receive a $300 American Express gift card to use on whatever she wants. Will she invest in a new summer wardrobe? Or maybe a combination foot massager/coffee maker for those days when she needs to relax and energize all at the same time? It’s anybody’s guess. Check out Diana’s winning story below:

“I used to work in the call center of a vehicle insurance company. My first day out of the training class, I received a call from a 78-year-old man who wanted to add his brand new Porsche to his car insurance policy. He was very excited because he always wanted this vehicle and it took him over half a century to get it. I asked him for the vehicle identification number and he replied, “Oh, let me get it, honey. It must be here somewhere. I’ll be right back!” Five minutes passed and all I could hear were birds singing in the background. Suddenly, a woman picks up the phone and asks, “Hello, who is this?” I identified myself and told her I was waiting for the gentleman who went to get his vehicle information. She said, “Oh, my husband went to take his nap, he probably forgot that he was talking to you. Sometimes he dozes off. Lately, he has fallen asleep while driving just waiting for the light to turn green. The woman laughed out loud and said, “Who is this again?” “This is his vehicle insurance company,” I replied. Immediately after, the call got disconnected.”

Don’t forget to send us your worst interview stories and enter our new Share and Win! contest here Also, we’ll be posting some runner-up funny stories later next week. And while you’re at it, search for summer jobs and part-time jobs.

[Note: This is not the actual "Sleeping Beauty" referenced above, but just some other unlucky dude we found on YouTube. Consider it a public service announcement: Driving while sleepy is bad!]

We have been very busy reading the more than 400 funny job stories that you, our trusty readers, sent in, and the competition is stiff. From pranks you’ve played on a coworker to unbearable bosses, our first Share & Win! contest can officially be deemed a success. We’ll announce the winner on Friday, but until then, get your typing fingers ready for the latest and greatest contest: We want to hear about your worst job interview.

Did you sit through an hour’s worth of grilling interview questions only to realize your fly was down the whole time? Or maybe your hiring manager couldn’t tear her eyes away from Perez Hilton long enough to hear your brilliant anecdote about how you got your work ethic from living on a monastery for a year. Whatever your interview blunder, we want to hear about it. Send in your submissions from now until 11:59 p.m. on June 30 for your chance to win!

To get motivated, check out this nightmare interview from a childcare worker who may need a hot shower right about now.

A few years back I had an interview for a nanny position. I drove up to the house, rang the doorbell, and a flustered woman opened the door. She stared at me blankly until I told her I was there for the interview. “Oh! I totally forgot,” she said. “My son is sick so I’ve been trying to take care of him all morning. Come on in.” I sat down on the couch in the living room and we started the interview and the little boy that was sick was standing next to me. All of a sudden he hopped up onto my lap and his mother exclaimed, “Well, he seems to like you already!” Feeling confident, we continued with the interview and before I knew it, the boy bent over and got sick all over me! His mother gave me a towel to clean up with but I had to drive home with no extra clothes. That sure was an interesting introduction into the world of children!

Ouch. That’s rough. But you can probably do even better.

• Send us your nightmare interview stories now! The person who sends in the saddest, most pathetic (and entertaining) entry will win a gift card for $500 toward a new wardrobe. And while you’re at it, be sure to search for summer jobs, and read our tips for job interviews to ensure no more job interviews get away.

For every smiling, happy-go-lucky, super perky waitress out there, there’s someone punching a hole in the wall of a break room while yodeling. Or shot-putting a triple cheeseburger through the drive-thru window at a kid in a car seat. Or setting her “Hello, may I help you?” nametag on fire.

Stress adds up. It makes your blood curdle and blood pressure jump. And it turns your smile into a frown (By the way, did you know it takes more muscles to frown than to smile?)

So what do you do to alleviate stress? Do you practice yoga in your jammies while sipping some Earl Grey tea? Do you plug into your iPod and turn the volume on full blast? Or do you pay a neighborhood kid $5 to sucker punch you in the gut?

We want to hear how you alleviate stress. Click the “Add a comment” link below and send in your stories, suggestions and remedies.

• ALSO: Get on-the-job health and safety tips, search for summer jobs and check out our Off the Clock community section.

Since we’ve launched our Off the Clock online hangout for hourly workers, we’ve been super stoked about the huge response to our Share & Win! contest.

We asked job seekers and hourly workers to send us your funny job stories. And you responded with dozens and dozens of stories – many that we could never print, and some that could actually be entered into evidence at a criminal trial. But don’t worry, we’ll be quiet.

To keep the momentum going and give you a sniff of what the competition is like, we included a few of the stories below. Enjoy, and don’t forget to submit your own funny job stories.

I worked in a factory that made casket protectors, and we had an unused (of course) casket there used to fit the protectors. So one morning I got there before everyone else and moved the casket to an area were the boss did not want it. I got inside and covered myself with watered down ketchup and shut the lid. My boss came in and was furious that the casket was not in its right place. He went to move it and realized that it was heavier than usual. When he went to open it up, I sat straight up and almost gave him a heart attack. All the co-workers were laughing hysterically for days after that. The boss’ response was “YOU’VE BEEN DYING TO GET ME BACK.” On that note, I never tried it again.
— Adam D.

I was working at the Haines City Walgreens. I was a cashier for them about 2 months into my job. I was ringing up this older gentleman about in his 80s. He was in a Hoveround when he pulled up to pay for his things and he pushed a piece of paper towards me. His phone number was on the paper. Don’t you just love how old people can still pick up chicks in their 80s?
— Evie

I work at a local convenience store and after a while you get to know most of the customers and the police officers. Well, one night while sweeping the floor under the counter (with my butt in the air facing the doorway) this officer comes in and says, “Good evening Claudia.” I just bounced right up and said to him “That’s pretty bad when a customer knows you by your backside.” We all laughed and had a great night after that. I also told him that when the time comes for me to go, I’ll be buried with my rear up and the customers will know that the witch is indeed dead….
— Claudia M.

• Send your stories here! Still in search of a funny work story? Start your job search for part-time jobs and summer jobs now!

The gang from “Beverly Hills 90210” chilled at The Peach Pit when the going got tough. The ladies from “The Hills” crash at mommy and daddy’s million dollar vacation pads when money can’t buy happiness. And when President Bush gets bummed over his approval rating, he can golf, fish and play the Risk board game deep in the heart of his Crawford, Texas ranch.

Everyone needs somewhere to hang out and relax. To reflect and move forward. And now America’s hourly workers and job seekers have Off the Clock. Think of it as yoga for your paycheck. Sure, the beanbag chairs and the old school “Donkey Kong” arcade game haven’t arrived yet, but please make yourself comfortable.

Within the walls of Off the Clock – SnagAJob.com’s new community/hangout for hourly workers and job seekers – you’ll find a ton of resources for both your working life, as well as the hours before and after you punch the clock: Connect to our MySpace profile and accelerate your job search. Get personal finance tips, hourly job news and plenty of punch lines in SnagABlog.com, our job search advice blog. And even send us your job stories, read others and win prizes in our new Share & Win! section.

Have fun. Tell your friends. And be sure to check back often. Off the Clock is a work in progress and we’ll be adding cool new features in the near future. We welcome your ideas; if you have any, please send them here.

• Check out Off the Clock now.

Here’s a funny summer job story:
Imagine you’re a star baseball player for the New York Mets. You get paid big bucks to play a game. First of all, how awesome is that?

Recently your fans got to vote on a song to pump up the players during the 8th inning via the team’s website. Choices included Bon Jovi’s hard rockin’ monster track, “Livin’ on a Prayer.” But somehow, ‘80s anti-rock icon Rick Astley and his terribly addicting “Never Gonna Give You Up” was selected. Yes, it was a joke and part of a running Internet gag known as “Rick Rolling.” And it really happened.

Now just imagine: You’re down by one run in a home game during the World Series. And just when you need a juiced crowd to pump up your adrenaline, you hear a crooning pop rock fossil who dances around in all denim being blown through the loudspeakers. How do you not giggle, lose focus and drop a routine pop fly when you hear Celine Dion-meets-Vanilla Ice?

Now that’s a great summer job story for a ball player. But we’re sure you’ve got better. And we want to read them.

Send us your summer job stories now! (Or simply comment below) And be sure to search for summer jobs, too.